Can't deny, can't pretend

Can't pretend that I'm alright...

I'm worn out going through this again. It's stupid to tell myself that I don't. I know, everything nampak macam indah je sekarang. But, who in the world knows if perkara yang sebiji macam dulu going to happen again? Penat tahu tak? Dulu jenuh nak kikis, yet when I made it, gone through so-called happy-mappy-life (it is happy in fact) and not long after that, it happens again! What the..?


I admit, sekarang ni sikit pun tak nampak ura-ura perkara sama gonna happen twice. But everything is out of the blue right? Macam dulu, macam lah expect sangat. In fact, it wasn't only me who get hurt from the same situation. Macam greedy je bunyinya pihak tu ye? Haih. Tahu macam "without-intention", tapi tepuk sebelah tangan tak akan berbunyi, ye tak?


I don't know how many people gonna get hurt because of this such weird stuffs. Well actually I don't wanna bring this matter up anymore since I've made a clearance not too long before this, telling that I've forgive everything, in fact I did, I am. Just I wanna mention it for once more as a kinda reminder to me, perhaps?


Seronok sebenarnya lalui masa-masa macam ni sekarang. As I said earlier up there, segalanya tampak indah. Tapi itulah, takut duk syok giggling, luxuriate that precious time, tiba-tiba perkara yang sangat tak diingini tu berlaku juga. Hmm, so I kinda need to take some precaution steps, eh? Yeah, first and foremost, stay conscious (if you know what I mean).


*breathe in, breathe out* Fuhh. No matter how afraid I am, I need to get through this again. If this is a mistake, then let me learn from it again (if I'm going to read this again, I know I shouldn't regret a thing). Huhh. So, c'mon! I'm all armed!