I'm bad in coping with stress

I dreamed to have a really good and relax holiday, but again, I'm just a dreamer (won't forget this fact again). Just so you know, I'm really bad in handing stress. I'll be stressed out when there's a lot of matters to solve and I need to think about it. It's that bad that even when I'm thinking of good things, I'll feel burdened because adding one more thing to think of. Yeah, that bad! But on the outside, I try to be realistic not to get mad at everybody yet I still feel indignant. Inside's larva, outside's just a moody-stressed face (not obvious). What's obvious is I keep myself silent cause I don't want to burst!

Promise. Even in the The Amazing Spiderman Miss Ritter said, "Peter, don't make promises you can't keep." The lesson learnt? I wouldn't hold on to others promises ever again and me myself won't make a promise when I have other commitment. Seriously, it'll only trouble the others. Don't test my patience, girl! Now, because of that stupid promise, my deposit money are in the bet. Don't ya think that I'm busy too?

Computer test. And like I said, I should now be studying in stead of doing other things like I'm doin' now. But heck! I'm depressed right now! Can't ya see? My ayah have been pushing me to study that KPP book while I'm on TV. C'mon, it was Sunday and he even pushed me on the night when I went to the kursus! C'mon! Gimmie a break! There's a lot of other things to consider before I start.

Privacy invading. As well as my ayah's been pushing me to study, my mak's also has been pushing me every single day (since last two months) to make my lil sis sleep with me, in my bedroom. Of course somehow I feel reluctant. It has been my own kingdom (the bedroom) for about eight years plus! Don't ya think I'm taken aback? Duh, they feel discomfort, neither do I. The wall of privacy that stand tall for eight years will collapse in any time? What do you expect me to feel? You said, "Don't feel that way." But, can feelings be compelled? No!

Abandoned TV shows. I've been busy and stressed out till I missed many episodes of THC and Mamma Mia. Okay, I admit, Mamma Mia's been a bit boring these days but I don't wanna miss any lil things about HGH-Jimin or HGH alone, right? The changes they made about the running air time is sure sucks! I didn't manage to catch up. Lost count on how many episodes did I missed. And, THC, so bad that I didn't watch it for weeks. Saturday's busy and no time to catch up. Can't believe I take for granted of HGH whereas he's my interest. Sorry. Luckily, my most fav Korean TV show, 2D1N (that I like long before I know HGH) is still on track. Didn't missed any yet. ...and hope will not. Ah, when the day passed, the more episodes I need to catch up, it's killing me silently!

And for these (still, I didn't mention all), I feel like I'm on my own. No body supports me, not friends (some didn't realize how bad they trouble my life, some think it's my fault), no families (if I vent on, they'll say that I'm selfish, sue me!). Then what else that I have? Facebook? Heck, I'm a grown up, I realize how stupid it is to pick a fight on a social network. That's a huge humiliation and degrading myself. At least, I have to preserve the good thoughts they have about me. Then, what's left is you (my dear public 'diary' with no readers). This is to make sure I won't turn insane while facing those jam-packed unsolved problems in my brain!