Unreachable

"Like a bright, shining star. When I receive the light I feel brighter and also darker. When it's bright I get my hopes up, and when it darkens I feel disappointment."

*****

Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around...

SREETTT!!! Cut that crap. Oh c'mon! That's impossible der! I've told myself over and over again that I need to plant my feet firmly on the ground. But it's quite hard 'cause my conspiracy theory seems legit! Every single time I've made up my mind to 'move on to next', I get closer to my past, no no no! The past gets closer to me! It's like taking a step backward, or am I in a fast motion perhaps? But well, it's too late I said. I've already move on to the next chapter.

But! I have to come to my sense too. It's just me. I need to highlight the fact that no matter how close it gets, it's still unreachable. Closer yet still far-fetched. ...and impossible (that won't happen like never ever and forever). It's never a hope, just a false alarm. The status never changed, only the bond gets tighter. My questions are... why it happens every time like a vicious cycle? ...and why now??