It just me, or it really is?

I hate being in the situation where I feel like I'm not sure if it just me who think it is, or it really mean so? I don't want to su' zhon as I know it will make a flaw. Whatever it is, I still hurt. The subject is was it with, or without intention? I'm doubting now 'cause the same thing happens again and again.


We should actually just accept everyone has their flaw and goods. In the world there should no showing-off-what-we-got. There are time when we'll fall one day.


p/s: Well, I hope it just a doubt and I accept that as a flaw. Insya-Allah.

It never hurts to try

All the way in exam mood seems that this is the first day of the day I'm sitting for exam. It gonna last for three days, only. Yeah, only. *sarcastic face* But at least, I've made it for today, kan? Two more days to go. Six more papers to sit. Insya-Allah, I can. After all, tomorrow belongs to those prepare for it today, right? :)

"Nothing GREAT was ever achieved without enthusiasm."

Life ain't a fairytale, or maybe not just yet?

Life is not as simple as "...and they live happily ever after". There's no such thing as that. Life wasn't that easy. Sometimes, our brain and heart don't go along. Heart always precede the brain. It feels like I'm steady enough to stand there, it's stable enough not to fall. Every time, and each time it proved me wrong, again and again. Maybe it is because I don't take my brain with me, left it couple steps behind.


This is just part of the story of my life. Still too far to reach the finishing line. If not, why'd it end up like this, right? It won't end up like this. In fact, this was really far from the ending. It's not an ending if it's still hanging. 


p/s: And this is me praying that this was the very the first page, not where the story line ends.

Good things come later on

Sometimes, life must know an enough. In Islam too, we're taught not to be greedy. There are times, when we get something and happy for it, Allah will take other thing else from us. There're hikmah too behind it. So that we won't takabbur. So that we'll always remember Him.


Further more, what I think I get, it's not as in GET. The thing just stopped by for a moment and went away. I deserve better than this, I know. That's why it didn't last any longer. It just that my mind forget to remind me that that was a bad idea. It's common that bad things feel good and vice versa. Take a deep breath and just let it...

"Be patient. Good things come to those who wait."

Fated that way

Day after day, time pass away. Finally Thursday meets Friday. It's quite long since I've been 'missing'. Haha. Actually, I've been not so well. Since the camping (or can be consider as military training center). Be there we all need to have high endurance and immunity. Raining all along, but that's a new and challenging experience I had been through. The most violent camp ever. Nevertheless I'm still alive, kan?

Undergo this week with slight fever, sore throat, running nose and slight cough. Been better. The tougher it gets, the stronger I be, kan? One by one, and four days in time, THE DAY. Exam! Whoaa...

p/s: For tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today. :)

Seek for the hidden hikmah

What is the hidden hikmah behind a pair of shoes?

p/s: Oh Allah, please increase my patience level. I ain't strong enough to just let it be.

Allah is the best planner

Our choir presentation today does not flow as planned. There were some technical error which we need to sing without music. Non of us were satisfy. Whatever it is, it has happen. It's not that bad though. Just a bit flaw. But, it was really out of the blue when the audiences starts to clap their hands following the rhyme of our song. I was touched. Anyhow, it's fated that way, I can't say anything, we can't say anything. Besides that, everything flowed just fine.

It doesn't flow as planned. We practiced for weeks, the rehearsal was perfect. But, today is flaw. Benarlah, manusia hanya mampu merancang, tapi Allah yang menentukan. Pegang dengan kata-kata everything that happens, happens for reasons. Wallahu alam.

Was that the rainbow?

Sometimes we don't understand ourselves. What's inside, we can't figure it out. Few weeks back, it was really really tiring, till today (referring to choir and camping preparation). During the full rehearsal, we stressed out all over. 'Bout seven to eight hours non-stop (sempat la curik masa for makan and solat).

The rehearsal was not fully nyanyi je. It was more to preparation. The actual rehearsal is about two and a half hour je. Siapkan bunga manggar, decorate hall and stage. Super exhausting. But, it was fun when we nyanyi-ramai-ramai-with-a-bro-playing-guitar. Releasing our tense. If there are photos, I'll upload them. Insya-Allah. Fun, I swear.

Before that, I was like "I really have a bad feeling." I often have that feeling before something-something. Many things suddenly came up in my mind. Studies, jammed-pack schedule, and bla bla bla. And mula lah nak relate ngan situasi and look from the bad point of view. Trust me, I hate that feeling. Usually 'the gut', it was true or otherwise. In this case, I still don't know as it don't happen yet.

But, the nearer it to the end, many great things happen. Was that a good sign or what, wallahu alam. I'm not sure either. Whatever it is, no one hope for bad, kan? Actually I can't wait for the next chapter of my life, which I hope it is next week which I hope is more more more relaxing. Haha. Exam is around the corner moreover.

Haih... I'm so gonna be exhausting as tomorrow is the occasion (which is majlis persaraan pengetua sekolah yang I forgot to mention awal-awal), and the next day is three days two night camping, and the Monday is school session as usual. Pile of homeworks to be finished, missed lesson because of the choir practice (though only a few classes but Additional Mathematics and Physics... I just can't help it). One class missed, like missing the train. I really wish wish wish I could manage to catch up everything!

I wish everything will end up sweet. Insya-Allah (after every effort made). Striving for success. Ameen. :)

Hoping for the best

I've told ya'. These weeks back are really really busy. Especially for the preparation for choir in three days time. Can't wait for this gonna really end soon. Tadi pun habis sebotol air asam jawa sebab suara jadi freaking freak masa practice tadi. Nasib baik takde part solo. Tapi, freak itu awesome, kan? Haha. Awesome lah sangat.

Seriously sibuk macam tak cukup tanah nak jejak. Terkejar itu, terkejar ini. Itu pun, paksa jugak siapkan homework. Penat mak oii. Everyday (since terlibat dalam koir ni), balik lambat sebab practice. Tadi, nak buat homework pergghh... mata tu macam kena hang dengan dumbbell aje. Nak tak nak kena jugak tambah kafein dalam darah ni, minum coffee. Then, paksa jugak lah tangan ni keep on writing walaupun otak dah send impulse kat nerve tangan "Stop. Stop."

Alhamdulillah, kerja hari ni dah selesai (esok lain cerita). Urusan koir dah almost selesai, esok last practice before full rehearsal. Pray for me, eh? For the best, insya-Allah. I hold on as well because of this line:

"Verily, after each difficulties there's a relief" (94:6) - Love letters from God

Always look on the brighter side of life ♥

Sometimes we just need to stop bringing something on continuously. Some matters need to meet a full stop too. Okay, let's look on the brighter side. Make life simpler. It can't be just because a circumstance, it became like this. It is outrageous that only because of a few rascals it became like this. Even worse.

Fine, go on. I'll get out of the way. I'll avoid it every time it comes up. No matter how much it hurts, I know I'll adapt it one day, successfully. You'll see. I want to look on the brighter side of this matter. Let's see from different point of view. It's worth having a place to uncover past memories, to tell things that can't be told to others. Tell you what, mengalah ni tak rugi sebenarnya (even the give and take is just giving). Dan mengalah tak bererti kalah. Instead, what you give you get back. :)

"Verily, there are hidden hikmah behind everything that happens."

p/s: Been very busy. This week is tied up. Preparing for choir, camping. Have to work a lot of things out.

I thought we are friends

Sorry that I go beyond the limit. I forgot that there's a boundary you've created. As a human, I tend to forget. I'm oblivious that I overstepped. Oh, come on, all these time I thought it was okay for me to do as I wish. Yah, as a friend I thought 'main-tibai' je is okay. But, now you made me realize, you woke me up from my day dream. It was like 'pup!'-I don't have enough qualification to be your friend. We're only friends externally. Thanks for not letting me engross in my dream.

A friend is someone we think our life will be different if they didn't exist, a friend is someone who never leaves us out, we always included when we're with them, a friend is there for us, no matter what. Does this describe you? I don't think so.

But, Allah is fair. For everything I have missed, I have gained something else. You are not the reason for me to 'stop-living'. Sometimes things don't happen the way we want it. But after the pain and disappointment, we become stronger in a way those things are blessings. And I believe, the people who want to stay in our life will find a way.

Eid Milad un-Nabi Mubarak

The Prophet Muhammad s.a.w

(Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)

From A to Z and more...

On Maulid an-Nabi, here is wishing that the wonderful deeds of prophet touch our life and inspire us to make our life more beautiful. Allahumma salli ala' sayyidina Muhammad, wa ala' ali sayyidina Muhammad.

Just go with the flow

Life is like a ferris wheel. It goes round and round. As everyone knows, when life is like a ferris wheel, it has its ups and downs. That's what I often experience in my life. Recently, my 'ferris wheel' spins extremely fast. At times I'm at the top, and all at one I'm at the bottom. However, I'll learn to accept the fate that has already written for me.

But, the other definition that 'life is like a ferris wheel' is that despite however it turns, I'm still at the same seat. It is worse when I realize my very desirable side of life missed couple seats back from me. How fast it rotates, it will never be together with my journey of life. It doesn't come when it should, and come when it's quite late. I don't understand. I don't really get the whole scoop. Why? It leaves a burning question that couldn't be answered.

To avoid being hurt, I chose the safe path to just go with the flow and expect nothing and just take what I get. Knowing that expectation leads to disappointment.

Kullu 'am wa antum bi khair

The meaning of true love is not to possess

Trust me, the quote has nothing to do with what I'm going to say. It is from a film. It is a nice quote, right? Beautiful. It shows beauty.

Actually, I just want to wish a very Happy Birthday to you. :) Best wishes for a wonderful birthday. May your birthday be filled with His blessings (for entire life, insya-Allah), lots of love, joy and happiness, and may all your dreams and wishes come true. Have a wonderful time on your special day and a very Happy Birthday. Sanah helwah. Kullu 'am wa antum bi khair. :)

p/s: It's been a chaotic day today. Busy and hectic. So, I hope it's not too late. :)