If people ask, I'll say...

If people ask, how do I want my Prince Charming be? Or... how I want my Mr. Right be.

I'll simply say...

Saya tak nak la yang handsome gila, nanti saya pulak yang gila.

Cukup la yang nampak elegan bila pakai Baju Melayu warna oren.

Cukup la yang nampak cute masa darjah enam dulu.

Saya tak nak la yang kaya sangat, nanti saya pulak yang susah nak adapt dengan lifestyle dia.

Cukup la yang tak segan cakap rumah dia dekat mana walaupun rumah dia biasa-biasa je.

Cukup la yang reti jugak naik kenderaan awam, bukan naik kereta ada driver je.

Saya tak nak la yang alim warak sangat-sangat, saya pun tak layak untuk orang macam tu.

Cukup la yang pernah ada bad times dan berubah kerana diri sendiri.

Cukup la yang tak tinggal solat lima waktu dan ajak orang untuk solat sama.

Saya tak nak la yang genius tahap Albert Einstein ke apa ke.

Cukup la yang cemerlang dalam peringkat sekolah dan seterusnya.

Cukup la yang masa depan tu bukan penganggur ke apa ke.

p/s: Am I mentioning someone in specific? No la. Huhu. It just that I wanna say that looking for someone perfect in this world. It's enough to have someone that make us feel perfect or perfect enough for us. :)

Appreciate or else regret

Regret. It seems like a huge word. All I wanna tell you guys today is a story from my past (not that long to call past actually). Okay, let me start. It's about my late cat, named Oren. He was really cute and I loved to tease him. One day, I chase him around my house and he get too scared of me since that day. I was kinda offended with him.

So, since that day, I declared a war with him. He doesn't like me, and I'll do the same. I ignored him, I scolded him, I kicked him away when he approached me (I just pushed him away with my feet, I'm not that cruel). He always avoid me though.

And so, one fine day, he suddenly have a kind attitude towards me, grazing around my leg. And I was like "Are you nuts? Buang tebiat ke?" and I was kinda shooh him away. For your guys information, it was the last time I saw him. He never showed up in my house anymore. Honestly, I'm typing these with choking heart as I felt so guilty towards him. My family is kind of keeping cats by just letting them in, and get them out at night. I think he has died one of the unlucky night.

I've always been thinking if I can go back to the past, I'll treat him the best I can, better than anyone else. I've always been thinking what if I really did that? What if I just forgive him? What if I act nice to him on his very last day? What if I don't scold him at that night? What if and lots and lots of what ifs more.

I think it's over a year since we lost him. Sometimes, he suddenly occurs in my mind. Well, since that day, I've been treating my cats well no matter how they hate me. I suddenly realize that perhaps cats do not really like me. *shrugged* Thinking of I won't repeat the same mistake again, I'll just go through it with a huge heart of mine.

p/s: It's been about two weeks that Gemuk didn't come back home. I really hope he is okay no matter where he is. Deep in my heart, I kinda have a bad feeling 'bout it, but I'll try my best not to think 'bout it and just pray for him. Gemuk is my favorite cat among the cats I have now. Come back soon, yeah?

Butterfly fly away

I enjoy every single moment of my life right now. Everything is just great. Enough said. Remember the 'distraction' I was talking about? It not a distraction any longer. I was wrong. It's everything now. Yes, it's the first time I have no doubt saying this. I just love the flow. :)

30th August : Captivated by you like a firework show

21st September : Butterfly fly away

5th October : I have no doubt

12th October : Respect level increase

I don't know. I just don;t want to think about next. I wanna enjoy the moment. I don't want to see the future as a terrifying free fall, let it be just the way it should be. Live the fullest, and I'll have no regrets. :)

p/s: I'm superbly busy with my final exam and I'm... speechless ;p 

I guess it's a let go

Yes, it's true that I told no one about this, and when Dil was about to notice, I quickly change the subject. And she just follow the flow, but I think she understood. But maybe she's quite confuse of what I really felt 'cause I seems happy with my distraction (I wasn't intend to make it my distraction, but to distract others, it seems worked! -but I'm sincere okay?).

It makes me a good actress though. My friends always told me that. It hurts every time I see it. So, I made up my mind to not to even peep it. So, I hold back. But, just now, my hand is too tickle to care bout it. Oh, stupid me! Again, it felt like one vein is pulled out of my heart. Swear it hurts. So, I think I should just hold it back again, or just forget bout it! Heh! Things are easier said than done though! But I succeed to hold back for weeks, and what gonna make me not to, kan? Fuh! Think positive.

Now, I have FA, my buds, my happy life, so there shouldn't be any complaints. Most importantly, I have Allah. Yes, He's with me all the time. :) But what I really want is, an assurance that what I heard and saw is doubtless. Then, if it's true as being said, I'll back off and move on. I promise.

But please, please, please don't show up when I had letting it all go. Because that's exactly what's always happen. When I move on, it chases me. Every single time. When I stop hoping for it, it comes to me. But, tell you what after this phase, I feel totally neutral about it. Yes, I'm happy but I don't stand any hopes, I don't get nervous, I just enjoy the situation. No woes! That's the soothest feeling that I ever felt. Here's the secret: I just felt it once, for a person -and it's not who's I'm talking about. :)

p/s: I always use 'it' in stead of 'he' because I don't wanna make it so obvious :P

Who's gonna grab me some?

I'm craving for Domino's Cheese Pizza like seriously!

*stomach squeaking*

Let the chips fall where they may

So, as I promised, I'll tell the story. It's about someone who I should just name her as E. There you go. E and her best friend S. They kinda always stick up together. S is pretty I can say, while E is just average. E was a girl that's really really self-contained and low profiled girl. She rarely talks to boys. And her personality affects her BFF who aren't like that before.

Long story short, after two years living the-way-they-were-living, E started to gain some confidence (from I don't know where). And yes, she did a 360 degree change! She can bravely speak out in front of the audiences and get involved with so many things, programs, and a lot of other participations.

And that is how she's been suddenly pop out of the tortoise's shell. She's been standing under the limelight. She gets all the attention. But her BFF is still like-she-was. That made her highlighted. Everyone sees her, and so do the hot boys. The beauty of S is totally sunken. The hot boys started to get near her, call her 'cutey', flirting her like I-don't-know-how-to-describe. And so she fell in love with one of them (the hottest maybe?) who I call B, and she was happy getting all the attentions. S also fell for one of them, N. And so, they shared their secrets and teasing each other 'bout it.

Out of the blue, B stopped flirting with her and back with his ex. She's so damn frustrated. But I guess it's even for what she'd done to D (an underdog boy who express his feeling towards her). D is a boy who started liking her since she become famous. She rejected him (though in a good way, I still feel it wasn't). Since that, she avoids B all the time. Sincerely, it was obvious that B has no feeling towards her even when he's flirting with her, it was just her who felt it the wrong way. To me, 70% is not B's fault.

Not long after that, I heard a shocking news from herself telling vaguely that she has 'something' with N! I can't believe it that she has back-stabbed her own BFF. And so she started to show off about them, even to S. I was quite shocked how S can manage it, be patient, and still stick up with her. I respect S! Seriously. I asked her, S just said "Just let her be." But she doesn't want to know anything that happen between them. But in other matter, she's still okay with E. Amazing, huh?

I was curious 'bout their relationship, E and N. And so I find out with the help of my buds. We come with a great and shocking outcome! As E had said, she just consider N as her brother (as she's lack of a brother's love), and N always spill his problems on her. That's all she said, but I found out that they are connected like adopted siblings for real. And their relationship nauseating me. Very loving like XOXO. What is shocking is that everyone else know them (E and N), as a role model because they are really pious. I mean, really. The outcome of our investigation was very unbelievable.

And so, I decided to wash one's hand out of that matter though how disgusting I see them almost everyday. Hypocrites. Before I know everything I had advice her for betraying her BFF but she's just like that. Now, my job has done. By the way, I told S nothing. I decided to stay out of this matter (after so far I've gone). I pulled away, starting from yesterday. Well, I told this story as a lesson, and to spill of course. Till then, bye!

*off to watch Kaminey* (as usual, a movie-holic) =P