Random rant

The ninth day is really gonna end soon. Whatever it is, no matter how, praise to Allah, I've undergo this whole week (nine days literally) smoothly. My task has done. I can proudly raise my hand in salute and say out loud "Mission accomplished!". Although my Chemistry and Biology experiment report have not finish yet. But, I really gonna get some help to finish it a.s.a.p. Again, alhamdulillah. :)

Heaps of incident happens throughout these nine days. It's not a bad one, nor a good one too. But, decent enough to be told. On last Thursday, I went out with my friends like a girl-day-out but it is not. Only lepak-ing at the McD. Act macam orang gilak duk refill coke two three times sampai the abang kaunter muka tak rela layan. Alin and Dila, I blame you! Haha. Craving for Double-cheese Burger (which Dila yang tolong habiskan timun jeruk) and Oreo McFlurry yang sedap gila. Luscious.

On Friday, here we go the farewell party that I mentioned in previous entry. Mira is going to boarding school in Kubang Pasu. And again, like an orang gilak's behaviour buat farewell party dekat tengah-tengah padang. Haha. But, enjoyed the heavenly cake, activity gelak-macam-orang-gilak even nothing decent to be laughed actually (tak tahu kenapa semua benda nak jadi lawak). But it's not too long before I spoilt the blast. Actually I'm under weather. Fasal coke the day before (tamau ulas apa-apa). But as said at the backside of our t-shirt, 'the friendship that we built will never end forever because we are also a one big happy family', the happiness is still there, non-stop taking photos, with various pose (some is hilarious). I enjoyed it big time. Because we are a happy family (though the 'happy' it is a hyperbolic metaphor statement which is a hope for the whole).

Today, I khatam-ed a novel (out of three that I mentioned before). I was touched by the story. It's about a love that brings to changes. A change to the right path. Love that brings the characters towards Allah. Subhanallah. Beauty.

Indeed, in life we should be content with what Allah has given us, and we will be the richest of people. :)

Unhappy ending fairytale

I built a castle on my chimera

I stop from taking another step forward

to wait for you, thinking of you

I look behind but I can't find you anywhere

I just can't believe it

You took a step forward

Left me drown in my fantasy.

It's not anybody's fault. Neither you nor me. It just a miscommunication or literally misplaced expectations. But, I know, this is not the ending of my story even I know it's ours. A story of life will not end as long as it has not find its happy ending yet. I believe in that. I'll get my happy ending. I know this is a part of my story. Lesson learnt. Thank you for this short period. Till then, sayonara. :)

Nine days seems not enough

This CNY holiday, I have many plans to be done. Here are the short list of my plans:

1. Homework

2. Spring cleaning

3. Novel KOMSAS to be khatam-ed

4. Reorganize my schedule

5. Farewell party

6. 3 lagi novel belum baca (if ada extra time lah) keke

Seriously, a lot of homework to finish before school session starts on this 30th January. I just done a few (far from half frankly speaking). Nasib baik my abang ada. Dapat lah tolong sikit-sikit ajar Physics and others (selain kerja dia tanam anggur, mentang-mentang dah habis SPM). Bit busy, my cousin overnight at my place. Sibuk layan si cute baby boy, Mikail. Kuci kuci aum! Keke.

Spring cleaning? Seriously, my room needs tonnes of help. Dah macam tongkang pecah pada dasarnya. Alhamdulillah, mission accomplished. Dah ada rupa bilik dah. Looks more tidy than before even habuk yang berkampung tak habis lap lagi. At least better, kan?

Novel KOMSAS. It's quite fun to read. But, yang lecehnya kena buat sinopsis segala. Patah bahu nak menulis tau. (Apa kaitan bahu dengan menulis? Anggap jela ada eh?) Whatever it is, I can do it, insya-Allah, chayok!

My schedule like will never be organized aje. Planner pun tak siap lagi even dah nak masuk bulan dua. But, at least I have one thing to be proud of. My shelf dah divided equaly for certain category of my books. Senang sikit lah lepas ni nak capai buku-buku yang tebal tu.

Farewell party. Wondering? Let it be a burning question for a while. Hehe.

My novels! The one that I bought last year and the other two this afternoon (mentang-mentanglah). Tak sempat nak baca lagi. Entah bilalah nak khatam. It's like ada Great Wall of China yang prevent me to do so (which is my homeworks).

Seriously, nine days is just not enough. Four days have passed. Five more days to go. Time move bit slow please! Among the listed activity, only a few have been done. Dozen things more to do. Hish, I shouldn't be complaining now. Just work something out and try to manage everything well. Insya-Allah. I wish everything will flow nicely. :)

Accept the fate

Time really flies. It's third week of January already. And CNY holiday starts. The day that I've been waiting since first day of school. Teruk kan? But, really, I feel relieve anyway. After over three weeks walking in hell! Yeap, that bad. Been through a lot of stress. Only Allah knows how bad it was. Now, whole week without pressure. The pressure of homework-kena-hantar-esok-siapkan-no-matter-what. Although only one pressure out, and truck-loads still inside, at least the burdens reduce. Alhamdulillah.

School. Kadang-kadang amatlah menguji kesabaran. Why must it be that way? Lepas satu, satu. But I trust, He put me into this, He'll help me to go through this. Insya-Allah, just have faith kan? It really not necessary for YOU to actually show off when you are standing under the limelight, spotlight or whatever light including torchlight and lightning. When I look at you what I see is you are making a 'L' sign on your forehead just like I'm a big looser. Let's switch our position. You'll know when people take your feelings for granted.

Okay, put aside that issue. Now, I'm in the middle of two path. Which one to choose? Okay, I get an answer, but, should I go deeper and put myself between two choices again? My friends did. Nothing left for me to not to. It hurts my feelings to stay. This if when I look it on that side (huge side of daily life actually). But, there are few things (little things that is not that important to others) that make me berbelah-bahagi. Trust me I hate this feelings. And situation too.

Life. It has it's ups and downs. Now, I'm deep down there. In a dark hole. Life is ragging me now. Can't wait for the next stage of life. At this time, I will full-time training my heart, myself to get familiar with this situation. I need tonnes of patience, seriously. I have to love my life just the way it is. There ain't no life without challenges, kan? You love your life, your life will love you, for sure. And I'm very sure that one day when I turn back, I'll thank this moment for teaching me about facing the challenges, accepting the fate. This moment is a bridge between faith and acceptance. I know that everybody hopes that everyone will understand us, kan? I'm not an exception too. If world is like that. Now, I'm hoping for a better future. Insya-Allah. Kulla syai'in mumkin.

Friends are like stars

Dear friend(s),

1. I wish I could end your suffer.

2. I wish I could understand what is nesting in your mind.

(I am sorry and I love you babe.)

1. No body is perfect. And I'm not 'no body'. In fact, I know I'm far from it. Just trying to help someone 'almost perfect' like you.  At least I try cheering you up. So, sup?

2. What do you from me actually? Me being a sponge?

(But, thinking what have you done to me before, this one thing can't erase those gratitude feelings.) *Trust me no body is perfect*

1. I know, yeah, I really know. You don't need to make it clear a.k.a showing off. Just please. I have feelings too.

2. I still love our friendship, I hope you too. Hatred kills relationship you know.

(Just one thing, learn to respect others' feelings.)

This is for you, you, and you. I love you guys. You guys are my besties. This is not a loathe, just to tell that you guys failed me. Hope it'll be a better next, eh?

In the rhythm of life,

we sometimes find ourselves

out of tune.

But as long as there are

friends to provide the melody,

the music plays on.

Don't misunderstood friendship, only besties, besties, and always besties. No, it's totally wrong. As long as it is FRIEND, friend acts like friend lah kan? (Dude, you taught me this la, I owe you big time, bro. Tak lupa.)

Let go

Do I? Naa! I think I'm not. Totally get over? Think so. 'Cause it doesn't hurt anymore. Like seriously! *blinking smile* I don't know. Actually, I'm speechless. Okay, stop kejap. *duh expression*

Sometimes we just have to SMILE.

Not because we are HAPPY,

but we need to find 

an escape from the PAIN we're in.

It doesn't mean that we lie. No, just trick our heart. In order to conceal tears, just laugh out loud. I used to do that. But never ever keep it alone. Do spill. It lessen the burden, though a little (to me it's super huge). But bi fadlillah, it is over. For at least only my heart. That's the most important. No doubt.

Let the past go as it hurts our hands to hold the rope for too long.

To forget is to let go. To let go is to move on. Yeah, sometimes we just need to put the past away and move on with our life. I'm happy now. At least I'm happy when I feel happy. Do you understand? It means that I don't pretend to be. Just one word could describe. FREEDOM. Yeah, I feel free. It is no turning back. Not even a peep. I closed my eyes, cleared my heart and let it go.

If you can't fly, then run.

If you can't run, then walk.

If you can't walk, then crawl.

But, whatever you do

you have to keep

MOVING FORWARD.

Feel free to fly. Free to dance. Feel free to jump. Feel free to splash colours on canvas. Enjoy every moment that might not be repeated in our life. Take a deep breath and let go...

Life is too short to short

to stress yourself with people

who don't even deserve

to be an issue in your life.

I believe in this and that's what I've done. Don't hesitate. It might be hard, but it is worth it to try. And make sure there will be no failure even in first try. Infinity thanks to Allah. Without Him I wasn't here, feeling like this. Nothing happens without His permission. Syukran. Alhamdulillah.

PS: It took hours to write this. Been writing nonsense. Haha. Yeah, don't know why. It just a little bit hard to describe exactly how I feel right now. Of course, it is more than words. Beyond explanation. :)

Bid farewell

I'm not good in saying goodbye.

World simplest word but hardest to say.

A word just might not enough.

Not enough to say that I'll gonna miss those memories with you.

1. Ear-squatting out of the class. (tak hafal karangan arab punya fasal)

2. Talking, talking, talking in Science Lab masa cikgu tengah mengajar. (terpaksa tadah telinga dengar, semagat sangat bercerita sampai tempias) kekeke

3. Drowned with you at Desa Waterpark.

4. You helped me when I sprained my ankle. (a friend in need is a friend indeed)

5. You sneezed sampai satu jemaah solat batal sebab bantai gelak guling-guling (swear i'll not forget this)

6. Your stories yang tak pernah habis.

7. Always busybody, tak tahu mind-your-own-business tu apa. (but, thanks for the responses after that)

8. Your sarcastic words that never fail irritating people. (can't say anything, it is YOU)

9. When you piss-off, no body dare to get near you. (you're like a volcano that gonna erupt in any second)

10. All your helps. (walaupun kena upah ais krim lepas tu)

There are many more, but, only these that I could think for now. Seriously, gonna miss you big time.

Never say goodbye,

because saying goodbye 

means going away,

and going away means

forgetting.

Will never gonna forget you. Insya-Allah. If He wills. Tiqah, go and fulfill your dreams. Good luck. Salawati da'iman ma'aka. Illal liqa'. Ma'assalamah. :')

Kalau ada sumur di ladang,

Boleh kita menumpang mandi,

Kalau ada umur yang panjang,

Boleh kita berjumpa lagi.

Rain in the middle day

First time heard 'bout it, I was shocked and was about to faint (hiperbola aje). But seriously, it felt like half of my world lost its glow. Habis semua benda nak keluar dari mulut ni. Ish. But then, thanks to Wanie and Alin for making me feel much much better. For lending me your ears. And for making me realize that that might a kifarah or test from Him to make me stronger, to make me stop from running from reality. (Alin, tak akan lupa those merepek-ing jokes. Thanks babe!).


Finally the day come. It's like a blast! I feel happier, calmer, and more relieve than ever. It has ended! It has vanished! GONE! The whole day (half day actually) I smiled without reason (macam nak longgar dah skru rahang ni). Yes, macam orang gila sebijik!


And it was not too long before another news flew in. (nasib je time tu tak jatuh terduduk atas lantai simen berhabuk tu). Betullah, kusangka panas hingga ke petang, rupa-rupanya hujan di tengah hari. Rupa-rupanya, it's not GONE, it just DISAPPEAR FOR A WHILE. But, biggest thanks to Allah, and my fellows. Alhamdulillah ala' kulli haal. Just little bit surprised. Yeah, well, manusia kan? It takes time to heal too. I'll try my best to ditch the bad feelings. Insya-Allah. If He wills.

If you're too school for cool

First day of school. Taklimat, taklimat, taklimat. *bored* Stepping in my new class. Being in upper form, it is totally a new world. New life! New friends too (friends who are not in the same class with me last year). I think it just twelve of my classmates who are in the same class with me last year. Only? Yeah, only. There are 40 students in my present class. Jam-packed! But, some or us are waiting for boarding school result. Including me (still not sure whether to move or not, totally in dilemma). But, never mind, gonna think 'bout it later. Hmm.


My class teacher, she's okay (so far). Hehe. But I hope it's forever. She welcomed us 'warmly' with early warning! "The first minute you stepped in form four, 4SC1 especially, you're entering the hell! If you don't wanna be in hell, do work hard." Yeah, literally she's right. True much. We need to take pains infinity times harder. This is not a honeymoon year! "You are so gonna be a nerd. Seriously." All of us? Nerd? *rotfl* But, she's right. Success is a journey, not a destination. Aja aja hwaiting!

Newbie

Assalamualaikum, I'm a newbie. Hi, I took this opportunity to wish you Happy New Year 2012! It wasn't too late right? May this year be better than last year. :)