When everything gets complicated

There's always a choice after everything, even if it's hard, it will always be. So, when everything gets complicated, I chose to pretend nothing happen, lying to myself, and finally get over it. I know I can, it was just a stupid something that shouldn't have happen to me. Moreover, it's been two days I didn't think much 'bout it. So, it won't be hard, ye tak?

C'mon. It's not the end yet. There will be a long path I need to walk more. This's just a stop by. Alhamdulillah that the distraction really done its job! :) I'm fine right now. I don't know if this is because it's school break or what, but I really can adjust it. Even if I face it, a sudden pop in my heart occurs, but I'll be okay, insya-Allah.

Okay peeps, wish me luck, eh? By the way, I'm in my novel-marathon. Hehe! :)

Far yet close, close yet far fetch

Kadang-kadang, bila rasa jauh, kita dekat rupa-rupanya.

Bila rasa dekat, kita jauh sebenarnya.

That's exactly what I feel right now. Sounds like it'll be difficult to accept, kan? But that's what we call reality. Reality hurts, truth bites. It is ouch-ing! When it's far, but actually we're close, it still nice to be heard (sweet reality). But, when we're close but far from reach, it does hurt (so badly).

I just can't believe it that I'm in here for the second time! I've been a free bird months ago, and now, I flew back to the cage! I know it can happen just in a split of second. That's why I didn't manage to think-before-snare! But I'm still under control as this is my second and I have the lesson on the first. I'm stronger, insya-Allah.

Still, nothing bad happen. Just everything happens as usual. I think I must get accustomed to it. Keep reminding myself about the truth, about how it actually goes. About my position, who am I in every aspect. Duh! It really sounds like desperate and pathetic. But, that's only I can do, for myself for not to being hurt more deeper than now.

Okay peeps, need to do some readings now (nothing beneficial literally). For at least to find some distraction, can't I? Okay, anyeong! :) *grin*

School break, here we go

Here I am, reached the last day of first semester. And of course, school break! Two weeks off school. Rest everything up after exhausted living my school day. The most important is that midterm exam is over! Alhamdulillah. :) What's the upcoming, I feel like not to think 'bout it for these two weeks. It's chill time, bebeh!

So, I will take this opportunity to get what's undone things done! And not forgetting that pile of homework or can be said as a replica of Everest? Haha, not really. It's not that much. I can take my time. Slow and steady, huh? So, I can hit my novels, can? Berbelas-belas of them unread (waiting to be read). Hee, exciting! I want to list up everything to be done, tomorrow kut? Oh ya, Physics class on Monday and Tuesday *slapping forehead*

Hmm, actually I'm bit free this school break because I've pull out myself from the list name of pertandingan kawad kaki. It's not my willing to do so, just 'something' quite not allowing me to do so. I admit, I'm a bit disappointed but I believe that every cloud has it's silver lining, ye tak? We can't always have what we want, that's just how life is. I need to keep that in my mind, ketat-ketat!

Just like today, I'm kinda feel something's not going right or not going to be right. Yeah, I admit there bad things today, and the good ones too! Life need to be balance, kan? Firstly, my last paper was very hard but I care for my freedom more. Dah tak larat nak pandang buku dah! Then, it was a bit misunderstanding back then, but it ended great and I get a 'bonus' too. Glad for it.

Then, things go eventually okay and not okay, something like that. It was the last day for my last year class's teacher in our school. She's going to move to other state for a particular reason. We held a very simple farewell party. Just eating cupcakes, taking photos, giving cards since she is too busy to get her things done on her very last day. Salawati da' iman maaki, cikgu. Sayonara! Besides I met my already-moved friends too. Hanged-out for a quite some times. :)

Been waiting for 'someone' (best friend, okay?), but we ended up disappointedly. She didn't show up. At last we played this game we get (curi idea) from Love Rain's drama. To test keserasian between two people (polka dot's idea, haha!) We got tested together, it was very fun. It was like they name two things and as soon after that we must say out which one do we like. We got quite much of same results! We're awesome, aren't we? :)

Haa, this a bit different. Two happy things after one. Firstly, unexpected unexpected. Then, the friend who didn't show up earlier called me and explained why she didn't and we have a chat for quite some time. Then, jeng jeng jeng unhappy's turn, I saw 'something' that told me that I was totally have had drowned in my fantasy. So, all I need to do is quickly wake up. Ohh, please! *patting my cheeks with eyes wide open*

Just stay up, okiedokie Liz? Even I'm about to turn to a zombie! *less sugar smile*

Calling for freedom

One more paper to go and I’m done, I’m free! Can’t wait to get out of this hypertension situation. Wallowing in the exam mood like a geek. Study like them, but it wasn’t at all. It was like, I’m half flawed in this whole exam. Hmm, what I can do now is just wait and see. Think less bout it, moreover it has passed.  There’s no use to cry over split milk. I’ve done my part and just let the others get done, ye tak?

Settle bout that, and that’s why I say I’m going to be free soon. Yeah, free. Just bout this. Never my feeling nor my mental (wah, sounds like a mental patient). I know I never would. Sometimes I feel like I’m flying to the sky’s very limit. And suddenly I can fall just like that, and of course it hurts. Thousand times I told myself not to overjoy something yet I keep doing it. Showing straight away how stupid am I, kan?

See, like right now, it’s a total nothing yet I feel something. I feel like an abnormal feeling like this. When it is ordinary I feel it’s special. When it’s nothing I feel like a failure. But actually both are just an usual ordinary. It just me who create my own fantasy. Feel like an idiot to know this. But as I promised to myself, I won’t regret, and I really don’t. It was fun back then. Why not just bersyukur atas nikmat yang sementara tu, kan? :)

Just like I’ve ruined my 'I ♥ U' cupcakes just now, that is just like how I ruin everything inside me. Drop everything now, there’s no more unexpected unexpected. Let’s jump then fall and be realistic instead of creating my own fantasy. Time’s up, just get out.

Okay peeps, I’m really worn out these days, I haven’t sleep well, lack of sleep, exhausted because of this exam fever. Study up to 1 a.m last night. I can be a cute panda if I stay being like this, huhu! My stomach is singing right now, haha. So, I’d better get some sleep to reenergize everything plus lessen my hunger. Aum! Bye, peeps! :)

That's how I love my life

They are cute, aren't they? But they can't be seen clearly because I didn't open the trace yet, haha! :) They look so yummy and appetizing, didn't they? Too bad I can't eat them right now. But to think it wasn't that bad as I can't eat them for a very good reason.


Actually I'm fasting in Rajab month. It's my second day in fact. I should be glad because as Allah said -who so observes fast (even one day) during the month of Rajab gets Allah's pleasure. :) So why not kita sama-sama beramal dalam bulan Allah ni? It's a great month to repent too, for seeking forgiveness for what have we done.


Selamat beramal then, peeps! :D Wallahu 'alam.

Gloomy, sorrow, melancholy?

So I've heard that episode 12 of this drama is way too gloomy. So, let's watch and see how far is the rumor can be true and how will it affect me, huh? And of course I don't like Hana and Seo Jun ended up like that, just like that. Thereto, it was that they started to like each other for seriously. So touching and cheesy, ey? Yet I love cheesy. ♥

Let's take the challenge, okiedokie? :P


[Edit] Okay, fine. It did teared me up~ (just finish watched and update right away)

Again and again

I keep thinking of you, I can't help it

Suddenly, I think of you and I smile

The scent that entered my heart

It still clearly remains

Just like saying I love you or I miss you

It's not that easy for me, for me

Love is caring for one another

Love is being together

Love is simply that

But you are not here now

Feelings are thinking of that person everyday

Feelings are drawing you out

Feelings will continue like this

So what do I do now?

The scent that entered my heart

It still clearly remains

Just like saying I love you or I miss you

It's not that easy for me, for me

Love is... You are not here now

Love is caring for one another

Love is being together

Love is simply that

But you are not here now

Feelings are thinking of that person everyday

Feelings are drawing you out

Feelings will continue like this

So what do I do now?

p/s: I don't know why, but I'm too crazy about this drama lately. I got carried away like seriously. Jeongmal choa-hasso!

Can't deny, can't pretend

Can't pretend that I'm alright...

I'm worn out going through this again. It's stupid to tell myself that I don't. I know, everything nampak macam indah je sekarang. But, who in the world knows if perkara yang sebiji macam dulu going to happen again? Penat tahu tak? Dulu jenuh nak kikis, yet when I made it, gone through so-called happy-mappy-life (it is happy in fact) and not long after that, it happens again! What the..?


I admit, sekarang ni sikit pun tak nampak ura-ura perkara sama gonna happen twice. But everything is out of the blue right? Macam dulu, macam lah expect sangat. In fact, it wasn't only me who get hurt from the same situation. Macam greedy je bunyinya pihak tu ye? Haih. Tahu macam "without-intention", tapi tepuk sebelah tangan tak akan berbunyi, ye tak?


I don't know how many people gonna get hurt because of this such weird stuffs. Well actually I don't wanna bring this matter up anymore since I've made a clearance not too long before this, telling that I've forgive everything, in fact I did, I am. Just I wanna mention it for once more as a kinda reminder to me, perhaps?


Seronok sebenarnya lalui masa-masa macam ni sekarang. As I said earlier up there, segalanya tampak indah. Tapi itulah, takut duk syok giggling, luxuriate that precious time, tiba-tiba perkara yang sangat tak diingini tu berlaku juga. Hmm, so I kinda need to take some precaution steps, eh? Yeah, first and foremost, stay conscious (if you know what I mean).


*breathe in, breathe out* Fuhh. No matter how afraid I am, I need to get through this again. If this is a mistake, then let me learn from it again (if I'm going to read this again, I know I shouldn't regret a thing). Huhh. So, c'mon! I'm all armed!

So far not bad

Talking about how am I doing with my recent exam. All I can say is so far, it wasn't that bad. It can be said as average. Not that hard that I don't feel like choking myself or regretting anything bout it. But it is a normal thing to have some flawed paper, right? But not totally flawed too. Well, I'm just an ordinary student, not a genius brainiac or something. That's why I can appear 'okay'.

Going to strive for more hard papers next week! Last week of exam. Insya-Allah, I'll be doing fine. Usaha then tawakal, kan? Okay, I'm a bit busy right now. Gonna head to school back in a few minutes more. Tata! :)

Something that I can't do

When you are far from reach

That's the time I stand a hope

Ignoring how idiot it sounds

Till it ended up with growing pains

Now it's not the same anymore

Not too close yet no far fetched

Smile is everywhere, every time instead

Yet I'm afraid to get in for once more

Just to tell I don't wanna hurt no more

That I can't endure any more pain

Seems like'll be a battle inside me again

But it's too precious to neglect

It's not that now hope shines

Just everything is far far better

So, let's just enjoy it, can?

Leave out hopes and expectations

No, not again

Everything flows just nice today, even it wasn't as good as expected. I'm talking about my sketsa for Teacher's Day celebration today. It's good enough I think, as we've only practice for just a day. Yeay! A big clap for us. *clapping excitedly*

Yet there is one thing I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that 'it' will happen again. Please, I really hope that the by gone be by gone. Everything changed now, from every aspect. I know, but I'm afraid. No, not again. Enough for once to get hurt, I know everyone experiences a growing pain, me either. Just enough, can I say I don't want banana to fruit two times, can't I?

Okay, time to soothe myself, my feelings I think. Dear heart, listen to me this time, okies?

Naa, ain't that sweet?♥

Don't forget it this time. This time is for real. You can pull away if you want to.

A daebak trip!♥

It was a great two days one night trip at UPM. It was more likely to be a seminar actually. To tell you, it was really great. I'm gonna miss the tonnes of memories back there. Am missing, big time!♥

The best school representatives, which is mine of course, the gempak Universal group where there are Ipan with me, then the nice Syahadat, the bengong Irfan 2.o, the gempak Amirul a.k.a Harry Potter, the funny Aswad, the weird Syamil, the sweet Hanim, the talkative Nurul, and others, Ain, Wani, and all the other Universal group members. We did very well with the help from the deabak fesi, Abang Saifuddin, Abang Azzam, and Kak Nadia. I miss you all!♥

Not forgetting my kakak-angkat, Kak Ain and Kak Dila. Sharing room with them is a great experience a girl can have. :)

Though it was all tiring, I have nothing to regret. It was all superb from A-Z. I wish a can express it more in words, but what can I do? Action speaks louder than words, I'm totally out of words, running of them. All I can say is that's so revel! :)

Exam, please be nice, okies?

From a slight fever, to a running nose. But still the fever's still there. What a wrong timing. Why now? Adei. I really should have being sitting in front of the pile of books reading them. Studying them, analysing or what so ever. But now I lost my concentration due to my condition right now. I'm a bit light-headed right now.

Tomorrow is my first paper. Bahasa Melayu Kertas 2 and Bahasa Melayu Kertas 1. It's not as simple as everyone can imagine. With lack of exercise, understanding, I'm afraid I can't perform well tomorrow, thereto I'm not ready, can be said at all!

All the more, I won't be here for this weekend. I'll be out for BAKTI program for two days one night. Guess what, on that Monday, I'll be taking my Biology paper! Oh, geez! Great! No matter how hard it seems or to be heard, I really hope, everything will flow very well. Insya-Allah. Minta dipermudahkanlah segalanya, ye tak?

Okay, that's it for now. As soon after this, I will face the book no matter what condition I'm in. Wish me all the best, okay? The exam will be held throughout this month starting from tomorrow. All the best for me, and other friends. Hwaiting!

Either to say or to show

Why don’t you at least say you’re sorry? That’s what in my mind when I have to go through this myself. At first it wasn’t that bad. But the courage of something I need to hear but I don’t, make me worse. Not long after that, I get something, at least it’s shown even not being said. That’s all I need. Not to pretend nothing happen. Then I feel much better.

For your information, I’m running a fever right now, with a slight sore throat and a bit dizzy. My body temperature rise and down eventually. I think my body system is quite crazy right now, haha! I think it doesn’t rise up till 39-40 degree celcius yet, or else I’m in a possibility of insane now.

Exam is approaching (kinda reminding myself). Time to hit the book, perhaps? Enough for now. Bye!

No matter what

My new thought: I need to be myself in whatever situation I'm in. Hee. I think it has no use pretending to be someone I'm not. Actually this thought came to me shortly after I felt tired trying to satisfy everybody. Where do I put myself in then? Maj ji?

So, I found this wasn't too bad, you know what? I can hardly believe that I can laugh happily, and no longer easily get upset or hating someone. It's because I can express myself well to others, but still in my way. Appropriate, implicit ...but sarcastic? Haha! It's way too better than before, pent-up alone.

Oh ya, in my target this month, I forgot to include istiqamah in reciting al-quran. It's been too long since I stop, due to my busyness, perhaps? Now, time to remove the dust, haha! Sounds terrible, kan? It's not that difficult to find a little blessings and barakah in everyday life, isn't it?Like I can do last year, though the situation was not significantly changed than this year, even this year is harder, but rather than wasting time over-relaxing, why not spent at least a page a day? Janji istiqamah, kan?

Furthermore, my midterm is approaching. Study well, Lizzie! Wish me luck, okies? Science subject! Revise, revise, revise! Steady, okay?

Adios amigos for now, see you in next post. Tata! :)

Who'll stop the rain

Caught down in heavy downpour

Running through the rising water

Still the rain kept falling like forever

We played gleeful splashing the water

Drizzle drizzle, sound of rain

Dancing underneath the drench

Dub dub dub, feet on the ground

Dancing around beyond the reach

New mission: it's a new start

So, here it go. New month. Next chapter. As the mission last month has successfully completed, this is the new one, for this month. Hope I'll be fixed with it. Insya-Allah, with His help, the Almighty.

1. Focus on study and only study

2. Practice more Islamic way in daily life

3. Overcome any circumstance wisely

4. Keep up my patience level

5. Istiqamah

6. Aja aja hwaiting!

Mission accomplished: stop complaining, start living

Finally, it's the end of this month. Alhamdulillah too, my mission or target or anything yang sama waktu dengannya have been successfully achieved. I'm okay now. Okay in many ways to explain. It's not that I've success in everything or settled down every circumstance or found the solution to every problem.

It just that I think I can cope with that. I've adjusted myself to suit in every situation. It was like I can handle whatever that comes to me. To achieve that stage, I need to learn to be flexible. When the situation is like that, I become like that. When it's like this, I become like this. The highest achievement that I can proudly say is how much I've decreased my hatred level towards someone or something that annoys me, hurt me, and etc.

It's not that I'm totally fine like a someone who is totally 'hati kering'. It just I was able to still smiling in that situation. It was not feeling like loathing anymore. I don't really know why, I don't really know how, it just not there anymore. I don't know what I was thinking that I can keep to be patient like that, it just happened.

As someone told me "We can't satisfy everyone till ourselves end up unsatisfied." From that, I understood something. I used to give priorities to others' feeling rather than mine. Now it's the time for myself. Again, it doesn't mean that I'm a selfish now, it just not to be hurt, I need to consider my feelings too. Fair enough, maj-ji?

So, whatever it is, cope well with everything, araso? Come with next mission next month. That's how I do it. One by one. Stage by stage. Level by level. Insya-Allah, everything will be fine. :) Most importantly, don't forget to smile! ;D *sengih tayang gigi*