Who's born ready?

Antara sedar dan tak, time flies. Pejam celik, pejam celik, hari ni dah hari terakhir bulan November. Antara sedia dan tak, perjuangan aku akan bermula. Siapa sangka? Honeymoon year tahun ni yang sepatutnya manis terasa kelat. Sungguh aku tak jumpa lagi kegembiraan aku tahun ni, sedar-sedar, dah nak masuk tahun depan. Ada apa dengan tahun depan? SPM menanti. Nak tanya sedia ke tak? Dua tahun lagi pun belum tentu aku akan cakap aku sedia.

Tapi, ada apa pada sedia? Masa bukan baik hati sangat nak tunggu kita. Jadi, sedia tak sedia, kita kena sedia, paling tak pun pura-pura. Masih belum terlambat kita nak didik diri kita, mungkin payah, tapi whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, kan? Dengan tanggungjawab yang bakal aku galas tahun hadapan, aku sedar, aku bukan lagi boleh bergantung harap pada yang lain. Aku adalah tempat orang bergantung harap, aku senior!

Enough for movies, aku dah tak larat nak tengok lagi dah. Novel pun baca yang mana tinggal je. Nampak sangat enjoy has come to its very end, kan? By the way, betul ke kalau banyak menangis boleh kurus? Kalau ye, memang aku kurus la cuti ni. Movies and novels memang banyak buat aku nangis berhingus. Dah la aku makan pun dua kali sehari je. Hmm, perubahan yang agak baik.

Sedikit sebanyak aku dah mula atur perancangan pelan aku. Nak berjaya kena la susah sikit kan? Paling aku harap, semangat bukan berkobar-kobar waktu ni je, bila masuk sekolah layu terus. Aku nak berjaya. Aku ada cita-cita. Aku kena mula jadi bijak. Selama ni aku terlalu bergantung dengan orang lain, tapi sampai bila? Entah la, aku rasa aku ni lemah semacam, sama macam antibody aku. Harap tahun depan aku sihat sejahtera hendaknya la.

Siapa tak takut? Tapi kalau word takut tu yang duk tersemat, maunya terketaq-ketaq. So, do whatever it takes, kukuhkan apa yang goyah, buat macam nak support building model dengan glue. Hmm, hubungan dengan Allah pun kena jaga. Seorang pelajar Muslim yang berjaya mestilah berjaya dari segi rohani, mentaliti, dan jasmaninya juga. Tak jadi kalau hanya setakat pencapaian akademik tu berabuk tapi hubungan dengan Allah habuk pun tadak.

Kita patutnya tahu, semua rezeki tu Allah yang pegang. Kita nak keputusan cemerlang dalam exam, tu pun Allah yang tentukan. Pastikan doa tu tak putus, hubungan dengan ibu bapa tu dijaga. hubungan dengan guru-guru pun dijaga dan perbanyakkan qiamullail untuk mencapai hajat (satu tahap yang aku sendiri pun belum pernah capai). Qiamullail tu sumber kekuatan, sumber inspirasi, sumber rezeki. Allah sayang dengan hamba-hamba-Nya yang berjaga malam untuk bermunajat pada Dia.

Aku ni bukan budak skema yang jenis ikut peraturan sangat, benda tu aku macam buat nak uji teori Inelastic Collision aje, main langgar sesuka hati. Jaga hubungan dengan guru... Cikgu kekadang aku tengok macam anti aku je, haha. Tapi nak hadapi SPM ni bukan bermaksud kita kena tak-payah-jadi-diri-sendiri gitu. Aku suka layan movie, aku suka baca novel, aku tak suka rules. Tak bermakna aku kena cut it off terus, just limitkan. Everything got its limit, kan? Takpe la, ni baru sikit perjuangannya. Berdepa-depa jauh lagi nak capai yang sebenar.

Jadi, apa pun, aku tanamkan niat dan azam untuk buat apa yang aku rasa perlu buat to achieve my ultimate goal. Do whatever it takes. Sungguh masa itu boleh bawa seribu satu perubahan bermacam gaya, sebab kehidupan ni tak adanya pernah sunyi dari segala macam benda susah senang, serba serbi nak bagi cukup hidup ni penuh warna warni. Dan tak ada benda predictable dalam hidup ni. Hari hari riang zaman sekolah ni makin berkurang kini bilah bilangannya. Hard times come easy, indeed.

Just my two cents

I don't know how to start with the intro. I just wanna share my thought about typical novels. I've read a lot of novels, sometimes things get same all the way. I think when something get typical it is called trend.

Heroin. Watak yang selalu dihina/ditindas pada awal cerita. Kadang-kadang sebab kemiskinan, kadang-kadang rupa. Lepas tu, hero pun sama je benci dekat heroin ni. Lepas beberapa tahun, mesti heroin jadi cantik, and hero pun terpikat. Yang peliknya takkan la hodoh tetiba cantik? Kalau ya pun tak la hodoh sangat ataupun cantik sebenarnya tapi orang tak sedar (logik ke?), kenapa semua orang macam pakat je nak hina benda sama? Lagi satu, masyarakat educated zaman sekarang main hina-hina orang lagi ke? Lepas tu, biasanya, last-last akan maafkan juga hero walau teruk macam mana pun sebelum tu.

Hero. Selalunya kacak gila sampai semua orang macam tergila-gilakan dia. Paling tak pun ramai/semua puji handsome. Padahal manusia biasa lebih ramai yang tahap biasa je. Ada bagi dia ni handsome, ada yang tak. Lagi satu, biasanya mesti anak orang kaya. Tak boleh buat orang biasa biasa je ke? And hero mesti jahat sikit awal cerita, and hero mesti kuat cemburu. Ha, lepas tu romantik la, bagi macam-macam, ayat pun mencairkan tahi telinga.

Antagonist. Watak jahat macam wajib je ada dalam cerita. Kalau in real life, bukan semua orang jahat tahap nak rosakkan hubungan orang. Satu lagi, mesti ada seorang perempuan gedik yang suka dekat hero yang akan plan macam-macam jahat. Tu kalau perempuan, kalau watak jahat lelaki pulak biasanya suka dekat heroin. Mula-mula baik, lepas tu nampak jahatnya. Bagi aku la, tak perlu nak nampakkan kejahatan orang baru kita nak sedar yang si hero (biasanya) adalah pilihan yang tepat. Sebab bagi aku, when someone is your real flame, you will know by heart. Lagi satu, tak perlu la jahat baru nak tolak, boleh je kalau dia lagi baik daripada hero pun, tapi heroin tetap nak pilih si hero, baru la true love, tak kisah kurang apa pun. Sebab tak perlu watak jahat sebagai medium nak sedarkan cinta antara hero and heroin sebenarnya.

Company. Biasanya ayah (Tan Sri/Datuk) si hero akan memiliki company besar yang biasanya heroin akan kerja kat situ, macam tu jugak si hero. Lagi satu, mesti hero akan jadi CEO atau apa-apa bos la. Lepas tu, mesti asyik ada mesyuarat je. Tak pun pergi site. Out station sana, out station sini. Pokoknya, mesti kerap travel punya la. Pekerja pulak akan kenenkan heroin dan hero. Biasa la tu, kan? And si heroin ni mesti disukai ramai la kat ofis tu. Perfectnya la wahai si heroin.

Kahwin tanpa rela. Aku tak nak la ulas panjang pasal ni, sebab memang ramai yang suka jalan cerita macam ni, aku pun, sebab benda ni macam lagi sedapkan cerita. Tapi, kalau plot dia sama je, bosan gak. Gaduh → Seorang je yang jatuh cinta → Kahwin paksa → Tak suka → Dah suka → Bf/Gf dari masa silam datang rosakkan rumah tangga → Konflik → Antagonis mengalah/mati/insaf → Berbaik. Boringnya, takde idea lain ke? Waduh.

Maid. Biasanya akan ada seorang orang gaji yang baik dah macam mak sendiri dah. Nama pun Mak "Something" yang nama mesti ol' school punya. Munah ke, Milah ke, Yam ke, biasa la. Ni macam dah watak penting je. Ada je la apa-apa nanti. Mesti dia sayang gila la kat anak majikan dia yang dia jaga dari kecit, macam anak sendiri dah.

That's all I can think of. Can't recall no more. Tapi tu la, apa yang aku nak tegaskan kat sini kepada writers (ceh :P), cuba cari kelainan, and kadang-kadang antagonis tu tak perlu, and biar life yang normal, bukan kaya sangat, bukan miskin sangat, maksudnya tolong la drag ke realiti sikit. Masyarakat yang normal, bukan suka menghina, and perempuan kaya yang gedik sangat la tak perlu sebenarnya. Buat something simple yang dekat dengan hati readers. Banyak dah aku jumpa novel macam ni, tabik to the writers! And ni pendapat aku semata-mata, harap takde la yang anti aku. Kalau terasa, aku minta maaf banyak-banyak. Ta-ta!  

Sharing is caring

Hari berlalu, sedar tak sedar dah nak bulan Disember, which means, time to hit the book too! All this time I spent this break with movie-marathon, tv, blogging and mostly normal things to do daily. I love to be this way. Oh, sayangnya, rasa macam nak relaks lama lagi ni. It feels like kita baring atas flowers and buat star-wipe macam Patrick Star.

Tadi, I watched a Korean movie. 5 stars. Gempak habisan, tapi aku malas nak buat summary. Tajuk cerita dia Special Investigation Unit. So here's the link of this movie in case you wanna watch it online. Click Here. It's nice and highly recommend. Tengok la, ye? Actors dia pun antara my fave. Joo Won dengan Uhm Taewoong.

Oh, korang pernah baca ceritera Schubert Serenade by Hlovate dalam novel Gurindam Jiwa? If yes, I just wanna say cerita tu best and I wanna share the links of my favourite three piano instrumental yang ada dalam novel ni. Sebab watak dalam novel ni main piano (Abang Shah) and violin (Ju'a). Cuba korang search summary novel ni. Novel ni susah nak cari kat bookstore, tapi in case korang jumpa, beli la. Tak rugi. :)

So, here's the link:

♪ I Can See Clearly Now ♪

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRbYPyWv31k

♪ Pachebel's Canon in D ♪

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6heUdRr-E

♪ Lemon Tree ♪

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrgiKAOBBmI

Book: The Vampire Stalker by Allison Van Diepen

Here's the synopsis of this book:

Amy is in love with someone who doesn't exist: Alexander Banks, the dashing hero in a popular series of vampire novels. Then one night, Amy meets a boy who bears an eerie resemblance to Alexander. In fact, he IS Alexander, who has escaped from the pages of the book and is in hot pursuit of a wicked vampire named Vigo. Together, Amy and Alexander set out to track Vigo and learn how and why Alexander crossed over. But when she and Alexander begin to fall for each other, Amy wonders if she even wants him to ever return to the realm of fiction.

What I love about the book is that how the scene was painted that was so vivid, the choice of words, the dialogue especially, it was razor-sharp. One more, this is the first english novel that touched me deeply and made me cry on a scene when Alexander was about to dispart with Amy, the farewell part. Then, I think the Amy's character is so close to me, we have a lot of in common.

She fell in love with a character in a book, which I also did, and still am. She has the same age with me right now, we're sixteen. She wants to be a writer someday and wasn't half bad with it, also in common with me (leave out the not-half-bad part). Last but not least (because I can't recall no more), she has the thought as I do which is 'go for more distraction than anything else because I can't handle spending the day with my thought'.

What I can clearly say about this novel is it should be highly recommend because the good quality of writing, credit to Allison Van Diepen, the touch of emotional of readers, the high imagination that brought the readers along the way, and 5 stars book! No doubt! Oh, Allison makes me fall for Alexander too. He's awesome. He's sweet. He's him. :)

Movie: My Way

Frankly speaking, I don't feel like writing anything right now. But thinking of I owe you guys a story to tell, and I'm here. Here's the summary of this movie I watched three days ago, My Way.

This movie set in around 1940 something. It is about two rivals since childhood, Jun Shik (Korean) and Tatsuo (Japan) that have a strong rivalry in marathon because they have the same aim, to participate in Tokyo Olympics. On the day of the marathon, a chaos occurred and that made Jun Shik and a few more Korean men were forced to enlist in the army fighting for Japanese Imperial Army. Few years later, they meet Tatsuo who became their colonel because he grew under influence of his military late grandfather.

One day, they lose in a fight with Soviet and both Jun Shik and Tatsuo end up in Kungursk POW camp, in Soviet Union. But then, they still warring. When news comes that Germany had declare war on the Soviet Union, Jun Shik and Tatsuo are the among those forcibly drafted into the Soviet army. They get through the war together and they were separated when Jun Shik were trying to look for some medicine to save Tatsuo's life when Tatsuo was being shot.

Tatsuo ran through few years tracking for Jun Shik. One day, Jun Shik and Tatsuo set out on a journey westwards that will find them on beaches of the Normandy, France, just prior to the D-Day Allied invasion. On the day the reunite, Tatsuo found out that Jun Shik was deaf, the effects when he tried to save him few years back. One day, they planned to ran away home and not enslave themselves to the Normandy. They agreed and set a plan to ran at dawn. Unfortunately, that time was the D-Day Allied invasion. Sadly, Jun Shik was being shot and died when he was trying to escape together with Tatsuo. Before he died, he said he has no regret even he can't achieve his dream to become a marathoner in Olympic. He also said, from now on Tatsuo must be "Jun Shik" so that he was not killed for his Japanese nationality. Few years later, on 1948 Olympic Tatsuo seems running and winning the marathon game using Kim Jun Shik's name.

My Way is a great master piece that should be highly recommend. It touched my heart and I cried so hard watching this movie. I was moved by the friendship after the rivalry and war. It is sad to have Jun Shik dead at the end of this movie. But still I love this movie. 5 stars and credit to Jang Dong Gun (Jun Shik) and Joe Odagiri (Tatsuo) and the Kang Je Gyu (director, producer, writer).

p/s: Sorry if my summary isn't as you expected. But I can bet this movie should be watched! Here's the link if you want to watch it online. Click Here :)

How I spend my day?

I clearly don't have anything lingering on my mind right now. But I feel like blogging and typing whatever that comes to me. Oh, my blog has new look. I spent quite few hours last night decorating it. I forgot to screen capture the previous look so that I can compare. As far as I can remember, the former look is quite nice but too simple, pale, empty, and not attractive. And so, this is the new look. Tada! I hope you don't think it is messy, it is what I call citarasa! Uh-uh! *wink*

Oh ya, dulu. Yes, a quite long time ago, about few months I guess? Aku selalu letak target aku untuk next month pada entry aku setiap hujung bulan. It's kind of apa yang aku target nak capai. And I'll usually update when I succeed. Dengan buat macam tu aku rasa macam hidup ni at least ada la sikit target sepanjang bulan tu. But since I've failed once achieving my target, I never do that again.

So, now I feel like sharing what-I-do-all-the-time during this school break. Actually, it's more to nothing tapi apa salahnya nak kongsikan, kan? Aku biasanya tidur pukul dua pagi. Ia bukanlah dirancang, tapi first day tu memang aku sangat risau dan tak boleh tidur, felt like crying in disbelieve pun ada. Second day school break pulak aku dikejutkan dengan satu berita pasal kawan aku yang buatkan aku risau sampai tak boleh tidur. Then, the third day, it was my choice, aku tengok bola Chelsea lawan apa entah.

And so it went on until today, kadang-kadang lebih pukul dua. Tu la permulaan kepada rutin aku yang aku nak cerita. Aku bangun dalam pukul sebelas pagi (kadang-kadang terbabas jugak). Don't blame me. Memang aku admit macam anak dara yang tak 'toma'ninah' dan tak 'memayik' langsung. Sebenarnya aku tak tahu pun maksud perkataan tu, tapi my ayah selalu sebut *shrugged* Okey, enough of bagi alasan panjang bangun lambat.

Lepas siap, aku makan breakfast yang usually aku buat sendiri (I'm not too bad and unreliable okay?). Lepas makan biasanya pergi kedai beli surat khabar ke atau apa-apa barang dapur la, yes, setiap hari. Balik tu buat kerja rumah sikit lipat baju ke apa ke, ataupun baca novel. Lepas tu dalam pukul dua, aku grab laptop bawak masuk bilik and... movie time! Aku ni movie-maniac jadi kena faham la ye? Lepas habis movie, aku mandi, bersiap bla bla bla and then tengok drama hindustan. Serius cerita ni aku main layan je tapi best, dah stick on dah pun, tapi nampak macam dah nak habis je. Takpe la.

And bila cerita habis, dah pun maghrib. Lepas tu, biasanya makan malam. Lepas makan malam kadang-kadang aku online Facebook ke apa ke, kalau adik aku nak conquer laptop aku tengok tv. Tapi waktu macam tu biasanya aku just habiskan masa tekan button "+" dekat remote Astro tu sebab takde apa pun yang menarik. Kalau aku hampir mati kebosanan aku selalunya grab la novel aku untuk baca. Sebab tu aku kata cuti-cuti macam ni kena banyak supply. Tapi sekarang tinggal dua novel english, dua novel melayu (termasuk yang pinjam dari kawan). Lepas tu dalam pukul sembilan atau sepuluh ada cerita kat tv, aku layan, kalau tak aku pasang cd (melambak ada tak pasang sayang). And so buat la apa-apa yang aku buat either movie or novel, sampai la pukul dua. And sleep time. Esoknya bermula macam tu balik.

See? Actually aku makan dua kali je sehari, breakfast cum lunch, and dinner. Yang aku selalu kata aku makan banyak tu sebab aku banyak makan side snacks kut. Masa petang kadang-kadang aku mengunyah biskut ke apa ke. Masa malam pun aku mengunyah gak haha. Actually, nampak macam enjoy sangat, kan? Sebanarnya aku letak target supaya aku relax habisan bulan ni and start working on something on the next month. SPM kut next year. In Shaa Allah aku boleh achieve this one. Mind set!

Setakat ni I have no regrets, no complaints, asalkan dari daripada benda yang aku susah nak fikir (susah nak dapat jawapan literally). Tipu la kalau aku tak ingat langsung, kan? Tapi, daripada aku duk dwell dalam perasaan sendiri, lebih baik aku enjoy apa yang aku buat, betul tak?

Oh, semalam beli novel baru. Tebal gila, haha. Tapi tak baca lagi. Plastik pun tak bukak lagi. Takpe la, slow slow. Semalam pun layan movie. Entry esok aku buat pasal movie tu, okey? Serius aku nangis layan movie tu, hais. First class! Okey, hingga berjumpa lagi di next entry! Happy happy jugak, jangan lupa doakan saudara kita di Palestine sekali, okey? Assalamualaikum.

There will be one

One thing yang aku nak cakap is that kita duduk dalam dunia ni bukan sorang-sorang je. Kita jangan lupa kita ada orang lain sama. Tak kira kita suka ke tak, sometimes we need to just follow the flow, bukan ikut kepala sendiri je. Especially when we work on something together. As others respect what we did, that is what we should do as well.

Kita kena ingat, kita tak suka apa orang buat, lepas tu nak take the role and lead. Ingat orang suka sangat ke apa yang kita buat? We can't always appear perfect all the time. There are times when we do something that isn't so pleasant to others. But, doesn't mean that they do not tell us they agree with us. That is the one thing we call tolerate. If I know this would happen, I'll take back my decision.

Enough of compromising with three things, wanna add to four? Sudah la, aku dah penat. Lepas ni, I won't give my all, I'll do it half-heartedly. I would confidently announce this as an unsuccessful abortive assignment. File closed. Case dismissed. Nothing left but compromise. That's all I can do. *hands down*

Bagaikan kek lapis yang tawar

Sejujurnya, aku tak tahu apa yang aku rasa sekarang. With it's rain outside, with Squiggles by my side. Apabila pandang ke luar, perasaan yang entah bagaimana hadir dalam hati aku. Seolah-olah, bercelaru? ...ataupun kosong. Aku pun tak tahu, sesetengah perasaan itu tak dapat nak digambarkan dengan kata-kata sebab tak ada pun kata-kata yang dapat gambarkan rasa itu, sebab aku pun tak tahu apa yang aku rasa. Kalau kita rasa apa yang kita rasa, pasti kita akan rasa apa yang kita rasa. Aku cilok ayat tu dari satu filem ni haha.

Yes, aku admit, life memang complicated, tapi aku tak take it so seriously pun, sebab aku fikir apa guna kita cari sesuatu yang kita tak mungkin dapat jawapannya. So, instead of tercari-cari, I sit here, typing exactly how I feel without thinking and that might help. 

Sekarang ni I'm on a mission (kepala hek aku la). It's kind of project, writing project sort of. Ada yang aku buat together, ada yang solo (on the way to get started). So, I guess with melancholic-not-so-melancholic mood these days, I can get the feel to write I guess. In fact, I got two projects on myself and one in group. I'm excited on my own project. Whatever it is, wish me all the best, okay?

Now, dengan Squiggles yang dah habis dimakan, moist chocolate cake dekat tepi pun dah tinggal kotak je, I think I'll end it up here. Cuti ni aku banyak makan for your information, like program bina badan gitu, huih, mintak jauh la. Haha, so, I'll end it up to continue my project and watching movies! ...oh maybe just a movie. Heh! Ta-ta!

p/s: Tajuk entry is how I give a picture of how I feel. First time pun tajuk in Malay. :P

Pray for Gaza

As everyone knows (not necessarily concern), Israel becomes madden attacking Gaza. It get worse from day to day and the number of death keep increasing. Poor them. So, what can all of us do instead of sit back doing nothing? We can pray. Doa itu senjata orang mukmin.

And please please please assist to take part in boycott the made-from-Israel's items or franchise that support Israel such as McDonald's. Besides, McD announced to give free burger for free at this morning. I hope the amount of people went to have the free burger is not as they expected. Don't give them any chance to win our heart.

There are some brands that we need/must/insist/will/want/have to (your choice) boycott. 

I'll find the link. You also can do the same. Let's give a shot!

Here is a link I found. http://www.inminds.com/boycott-brands.html

Roller blade, uhuh!

Aku nak korang tahu, kita ni manusia yang lemah je sebenarnya. Siapalah kita tanpa Dia? Tak pernah lagi aku melihat seseorang itu berdiri kuat dengan diri dia sendiri tanpa bantuan sesiapa pun. Kita ni manusia yang memiliki keupayaan yang terbatas.

Sepertimana Allah pernah menarik nikmat mendengar dari sebelah telinga aku (walaupun tak teruk), aku tetap merasakan betapa kerdilnya aku nak dibandingkan dengan-Nya. Masya-Allah, jauh sangat. Dua bulan lebih aku tak dengar kalau orang sebelah kiri aku cakap slow. Alhamdulillah, biznihi, aku dah pulih, dua hari lepas kalau aku tak silap.

Pada aku, Allah menguji kita supaya kita lebih dekat dengan-Nya, bukan sebaliknya. Supaya kita ingat, banyak dosa kita, betapa jauh kita dengan dia, atau belum cukup alim lagi rupanya kita ni. Bukannya menyalahkan takdir yang tersurat, "Apa salah aku?" Masya-Allah. Kita manusia biasa, tak terlepas dari sekecil-kecil kesalahan hinggalah sebesar-besar kesalahan. Sebaiknya muhasabah diri, jangan sangka kita dah cukup baik, cukup taat. Kita seharusnya letakkan diri kita di bawah sekali.

Pada ketika budak sebaya aku tengah sibuk bekerja, mengisi waktu lapang cuti ni, ataupun mencari duit, atau pengalaman, aku dengan kawan-kawan aku pergi main roller blade semalam (sebab kita orang tak kisah pun nak kerja, tak nak pun). Tanya jugak, gaji dia orang pun not bad, tak bad langsung pun sebenarnya, lumayan. Tapi, aku percaya, kita semua dah tertulis ketetapan masing-masing. Mungkin ketetapan buatku adalah untuk menghabiskan cutiku dengan cara ini. Blogging, facebook, writing, baca novel, outing (jarang-jarang, okey) dan kerja rumah.

Sungguh la, bila tengok tu, rasa confident je boleh main masa mula-mula. Bila dah sarung roller skate tuh, terus keyakinan aku tiris. Dan memang pun, memang apa yang kita yakin sangat tak semestinya betul. Akulah yang paling banyak kali jatuh semalam. Kita orang semua first timer semua. Tapi, aku antara yang worst semalam. Tapi, benda ni for fun je. Then, aku dapat reward aku pun. Bruises and random ache from waist to knee. Tangan pun sakit jugak. Tapi masa nak last-last tu, I performed well, tak rugi la bayarnya bila dapat berdiri slide sikit-sikit. Haha.

There's a lot more aku nak cakap, aku kan banyak cakap (takde la sangat). Jumpa di next entry. Aku harap aku tak blank nak story apa. Bye!

Theory and reality

There's a huge difference between theory and reality. Theory is like our mind set. Apa yang kita percaya, itu teori. Realiti pula, apa yang biasanya kita refuse untuk percaya. Benda ni bergantung pada diri kita sendiri. Kita yang control mind kita, bukan mind kita control kita.

Contohnya, jerawat. Tu sebenarnya topik aku hari ni. Intro nak gempak je, kan? Haha. Macam ni la, ikut apa yang kebanyakan orang cakap, apa yang orang percaya, jerawat tu ada sebab kita berangan. Macam cuba la korang ada jerawat, ada la mana-mana mak cik akan cakap "Eh, ada jerawat, banyak berangan la tu." 

Benda ni apa yang orang set dalam mind je. Macam aku, cuti cuti ni banyak la pulak jerawat kat muka aku. Aku banyak berangan ke? Memang aku banyak berangan pun. Cuti ke tak cuti ke aku berangan je. So, apa pulaknya, kan?

Aku rasa penjelasan terbaik buat isu ni ialah cuti ni mungkin jerawat aku banyak daripada biasa sebab biasa la, cuti, schedule pun lain, timing cuci muka pun lari sikit. Kan? Munasabah kan jawapan dia? Kita kena tukar je fikiran kita ni, think more to logic. Relate dengan reality, bukan kepercayaan karut yang tak sahih. Jerawaat ni satu contoh je, satu medium yang aku bawak untuk dekatkan korang dengan mesej yang aku nak sampaikan. Okey?

Bagi aku, kita percaya bukan sebab hati kita nak percaya, tapi bila otak kita dah setuju, then only barulah kita nak percaya. Orang pun kata, ikut hati mati. Mungkin ramai tak sedar, hati dengan otak kita tak pernah seiring. Hati kita akan berada one step forward dari pada otak kita. Yang buat keputusan, tu selalunya kata hati.

One thing yang aku kagum dengan hati ni, dia pandai main trick buat tuan dia percaya apa yang dipercayai tu ialah nerve yang disent dari otak, sedangkan artery dengan vena cava dari jantung hati kita tu yang bawak info (pandai la aku punya philosophy). Heh! So, apaper pun, aku nasihatkan kepada semua, buat keputusan biarlah waktu kita waras. Dan, berani buat berani tanggung. Assalamualaikum.

Maal Hijrah 1434

Alhamdulillah. Sempat juga kita sampai ke tahun baru Maal Hijrah 1434, dengan izin Allah. Sempena Maal Hijrah ni, marilah sama-sama kita tanamkan satu azam dalam diri kita untuk menjadi lebih baik daripada sebelum ni.

Busy busy busy

Aku tak tahu nak mula dari mana sebenarnya. Dah empat hari ek sepi tanpa khabar? Ceh, kalau takde apa nak tulis takpe la jugak. Ni memang banyak sangat aku nak story sampai tak tahu where to start. *garu kepala* Hm, sebabnya, dari weekend hari tu aku busy semedang. Ceh, cakap macam orang-orang besar je. Ele, dalam kalangan orang-orang sekeliling aku, aku dikira orang penting what!

Hari Sabtu hari tu, aku ada dua wedding invitation. Yang pertama tu jiran, parents dah la takde kat rumah, aku tengah duk kroh, kroh, mak called suruh wakilkan pergi wedding tu. Aku dah kelam kabut bersiap, kejut adik ajak pergi sama. Hai, rasa macam dah besau pulak. Thee hee~

Lepas tu wedding kawan kakak aku. Pergi ngan kengkawan la, kalau kita orang gather memang jadi yang paling bising la. Hiuhh, jatuh saham. Lepas tu (berapa kali la nak lepas tu daa), lepak rumah Nik dengan Dil sebab dia takut parents dia takde kat rumah. Dil memang dah buat macam rumah sendiri dah. Haha. Tengok movie bla bla bla.

Hari Ahad pulak, wedding lagi. Dekat Bora Ombak. I swear makanan dia sedap, especially pucuk ubi tempoyak dia. Pehh! Kaw!

Hari Isnin aku habiskan buku aku, Mary Higgins Clark's I'll Walk Alone. What an unexpected story. Hewhew~ Hari Selasa, iaitu semalam, aku spring cleaning bilik aku yang memang desperate mintak kena bersih. Sapu lantai sampai lapan kati habuk (okey, aku exaggerate). Memang penat aku cakap. Tapi, kalau tak buat bila lagi, kan? Cuti-cuti macam ni la.

Before

After

Frankly, takde la before mana, dah halfway kemas baru aku ingat nak ambil gambar. Dia tak seteruk bila tengok depan mata though. Haha. Yang selepas tu, aku saja nak tunjuk my lovely blue sheet. Cantik, kan? Huhu. *sorok Febreeze dekat belakang* Apa mesej (ada mesej pulak?) yang aku nak sampaikan ialah, cuti cuti macam ni, rajin-rajinkan la diri untuk buat sesuatu yang bermanfaat, okey? Jumpa lagi dalam next entry (got a whole lot more to tell you guys). :)

We have Allah

Assalamualaikum guys,

Aku rasa it's better to start with the proper way. :) Mula-mula sekali, aku nak bagitahu yang hari ni merupakan hari ke tiga aku bersekolah waktu cuti ni. Datang gilir-gilir gitu (dah ditetapkan sekolah). Hari ni hari yang ke tiga dan juga yang terakhir untuk tahun ini. Dengan rasminya, aku cakap, hari ni ialah hari terakhir aku di sekolah sebagai seorang student form 4. Sedih? Mesti la, sebab tak ready lagi nak masuk form 5, heh!

Kalau korang nak tahu macam mana hari pertama dengan hari ke dua berlalu. Klik sini untuk hari pertama, dan Klik sini untuk hari ke dua. Ni blog kawan aku. Kalau rajin, follow la dia (heh, aku pun korang tak follow). Dan, kalau korang bijak, korang boleh scan mana satu aku dalam blog dia tu. Ye, aku tak lawa pun :P

Ni nak cerita pasal hari ni, hari ke tiga. Kita orang didedahkan dengan satu cerita yang agak mengejutkan (cerita dari cikgu fasal cikgu). Benda tu ada la kaitan dengan gambar kat atas tu. Bukan mengumpat, eh? Jangan salah faham. Ni cuma cerita untuk membersihkan nama. Lepas dengar tu, aku macam agak terkejut dan mula dapat relate, patut la macam ni, patut la macam tu.

Dalam hati, aku bersyukur sebab kita orang dah didedahkan dengan kebenaran daripada fitnah yang kita orang duk adapat sebelum ni. Alhamdulillah. Tapi, apa yang aku terkilannya, bukan senang kita nak tegakkan kebenaran dalam atmosfera yang penuh dengan tipu dan fitnah (ceh, tengok ayat aku? bangga cikgu BM aku :P). Betul la, ingat senang ke nak betulkan satu keadaan tu bila virus dah spread macam cendawan tumbuh selepas hujan (again? haha).

Apa yang terdetik dalam hati aku untuk buat waktu tu, ialah doa. Aku doa "Ya Allah, jauhilah kami dari segala fitnah dan pengaruh fitnah atas muka bumi ni." Amin. Moga Allah kuatkan hati hamba-hamba-Nya dari perkara macam ni. Sebab ia rasa amat teruk when orang-orang yang korang sayang jadi mangsa dalam benda-benda macam ni, apatah lagi innocently. Dengan tak tahu apa-apanya. Nauzubillah.

Oleh itu Ya Allah, peliharalah kami semua dari segala pengaruh negatif dan kuatkanlah ketakwaan kami semua kepada-Mu. Amin.

p/s: Bacaan kat atas tu korang boleh amalkan. Moga bermanfaat. :)

Confessions or just ranting on?

Okay, I've made up my mind untuk stick on dengan cara baru ni (at least untuk sementara). Not half bad pun. Hmm, tak tahu nak mula dari mana. Look, aku pernah ada kind of conversation la dengan cikgu kaunseling aku, oh, bukan aku kena kaunseling, actually aku pun dalam bidang yang sama. So, I don't need one. Macam aku cakap tadi, borak-borak biasa je. Cikgu aku cakap, kalau kita (teenage girls) suka kat ramai guys dalam satu masa, kind of, bila lepak dengan dia ni, suka dia ni, bila lepak dengan orang tu suka orang tu pulak. Faham tak?

Ala, macam ada ramai crush dalam satu masa. Tengok orang tu handsome, nak suka, handsome, nak suka. Macam tu la lebih kurang. Ha, cikgu aku cakap, kalau macam ni, maksudnya, kita belum matang. Budak-budak kecit lagi la kiranya. Hati tak tetap, lepas tu macam tak mampu fikir betul-betul lagi. Itu la dia nak cakapnya.

Sebagai teenage girl yang normal, mesti la aku faham how actually it feels. Kadang-kadang aku pun ragu-ragu, adakah aku masih dalam tahap tu? Tapi, entah macam mana, entah beberapa kali ditest secara tak langsung, hati aku dah macam yakin yang aku memang dah keluar dari fasa tu. Sebab sepanjang tempoh ni, apa yang aku rasa, yang aku buat, semuanya tak sama dengan yang sebelum ni. Sangat-sangat lain.

Kenapa aku macam sure je? Sebab hati aku macam statik je, tak bergerak walau ke mana pun aku dah pergi. Dia tak melayang-layang dengan aku sama-sama. And yes, ini ialah the very first time aku rasa macam ni. That's a good thing to say (yeke?). Kalau macam dulu, bila dengan ni, lupa yang tu, lepas tu gelak-gelak girlish-girlish gitu la kononnya happy sangat la. Waktu tu happy la, haha. Tapi, adakah ini kerana aku betul-betul dah masuk fasa yang baru, yang tak terjangka, atau aku just grow up? Jadi lebih matang dari sebelum ni? (See, aku dah confuse).

Tapi kan, sekarang ni macam ada glue yang kuat melekat kat otak or hati or whatsoever yang menyebabkan aku stick dengan satu je in my mind. And what do I call this? Aku tak tahu, dan aku tak nak tahu (walaupun otak aku dah buat assumption). Buat masa ni, aku rasa, biar la dulu, sebab apaper pun, aku still budak kecit, and aku kena hold to that. So, enough for now, bye-bye! :) 

I just don't get it

Kadang-kadang, aku sendiri pun tak faham dengan percaturan hidup yang telah digariskan untuk aku. Macam aku pernah baca kat somewhere yang aku sendiri tak ingat kat mana (kalau aku ingat sekali pun, perlu ke aku cakap? haha), dia cakap, permainan catur soal kehidupan ialah permainan yang paling susah dalam hidup. Dan yes, aku akuinya tanpa ragu.

Kenapa aku cakap Bahasa Melayu? Eh, suka hati aku la. Haha. Actually, ramai je complaint aku tulis benda yang orang tak faham. Tapi, tu la tujuan sebenar aku, tak mahu kasi orang faham. Aku jenis yang suka say out loud apa yang aku rasa dengan bahasa yang tersirat. Sebabnya? Aku tak la suka sangat manusia-manusia sekeliling aku study aku macam lab rat and nak tahu segala isi luar dalam aku. Bagi aku, ada je benda yang sometimes kita kena keep for ourselves, kan?

Okey, berbalik kepada tajuk. Kadang-kadang aku rasa macam dah penat dah fikir pasal benda yang aku sendiri tak tahu, yang tak pasti. Soal diri aku kenapa tu, kenapa ni. Like 'hey, apa masalah kau ni?' Kadang-kadang, kita sebenarnya kena buat ikut kata hati je, fikir side kita je kalau benda ni won't hurt pun pihak tu kalau dia tak tahu. ...and of course dalam situasi yang dia tak perlu tahu pun. Heh!

Selagi benda tu tak sampai to the end, kte jangan fikir its end lagi. Enjoy the moment why we still have it. Kiranya, nikmati la sampai titisan terakhir (titisan apa, aku tak tahu). Tapi, kita kena la kuatkan diri kita nak hadapi consequences yang bakal kita hadapi, apatah lagi kalau kita memang dah pasti dah apa yang akan berlaku, or paling tak pun, kita dah more than 50% sure. Macam mana nak peroleh kekuatan? Kan kita ada Dia. Kita ada Allah. Doa tu senjata orang mukmin. Dengan berdoa kepada-Nya, insya-Allah kita boleh belajar redha dengan ketentuan-Nya, betul tak?

Apa yang aku cakap ni, bukan dah aku dah buat, tapi, assume la yang aku dah half way through. Sekarang aku berada dekat stage yang sangat menyakitkan. Aku pun tak faham benda ni ada kaitan dengan adrenalin hormone atau apa, tapi rasa macam jantung tu kena sedut dengan straw besar, kena genggam kuat-kuat gitu. Proses bina kekuatan diri agaknya? Harapnya macam tu la. Okey la, aku nak chow dah ni. Nanti aku fikir balik (reconsider) untuk teruskan tulis macam ni untuk next-next entry or back to square one. Tengok la. So, bye-bye! Assalamualaikum. :) *waving*

It is how you see it

Beauty is something subjective. :)

p/s: Sorry for the short entry. Not really in mood to write much. So, here you go.

I've liked you since day one

My friend said "Miss someone? Pray for him/her."

p/s: Oh. The entry's title? I just like the phase. :P

Sweet Home Alabama

Sweet Home Alabama. Have you ever heard about this movie? It is a great movie. I love it. I just watched it yesterday in fact. Oh, I love it (say three times). The story is so sweet. It's about Melanie Carmichael who has been engaged with a mayor's son, Andrew and soon want to get married. She's a successful fashion designer in New York City. Melanie tells Andrew that she has to go back to her hometown which is Alabama to tell her parents.

In fact, as she arrives, she go to meet Jake which is her husband to ask him to sign the divorce paper. But Jake refuse to. After an incident which Melanie drunks and insulted everyone besides humiliating herself, Jake sign the divorce paper. Melanie spends few days in her hometown and not go back straight to New York. And she finds that she actually loves the place and the memories she created there.

I actually love how Melanie realize that she actually loves Jake when she actually didn't sign the divorce paper yet. She was hesitated to do so, at her wedding and then she told Andrew that she can't marry him. And than she goes to Jake and tells Jake that she loves him (in her own way). Happy ending! :) Oh, the picture above? It's a dialog between Melanie and Jake when he asked her why she wanna marry him. Jake once said that when they were little. Sweet, right? And Jake... he's handsome. Ohh! Haha. 

Actually I don't know how to tell how actually the story is. I use my own words so you need to watch it yourselves. I'm a bad explainer though. I rarely do a summary on a movie I watched. I just tell a little bit and recommend you guys to watch it. Oh, I love movies. That's a fact about a movie-holic like me. So, toodles! Until we meet again in the next entry.

Rant on something random

I've nothing important to vent out. But I have lots of thought (more to opinion) I wanna share. So, I'll vent it all out. Let's start with sad songs. When we're in a gloomy situation, lots of people will sit at a corner or look outside the window, and hear some sad songs all day long and let their tears out. Oh come on! That's too lame. Apa guna Linkin Park waktu-waktu macam tu? Apa guna all the rock songs yang wujud kat muka bumi ni?

Fine, bukan la yang hardcore rock songs tu, sakit telinga, tahu. But, Linkin Park, their rock are nice. When we're sad, we should go against it. Find something that totally contra with it. Bukan dwell dalam sad mode dengan drown dalam sad songs. Tu bukan move on, tu melayan perasaan. Perasaan ni kadang-kadang saja je mengada nak manja dengan kita (Heh! Boleh pulak macam tu). So, if you trapped in a situation, go against it, faham?

Move on to the next. Novel. Remember the previous entry? I've read the second ceritera. It was sooo good. I love it. I really hope the storyline is longer, perhaps a book thick? Yeah, kind of. I really like the male main character, Fadli Ameerudin. I don't know, 'cause he kinda sweet? Yeah, I like how he actually straight forward about his feelings because he believes there's no point of waiting. And to be liked back, it's a bonus.

Dalam dunia realiti macam ni, ramai yang bertepuk sebelah tangan je. That's how reality is separated from reality. Hakikatnya, it goes like a food web (apa kejadahnya food web pulak tetiba?) because A → B → C → D and that's how it goes. Orang tu suka kita, kita suka orang lain, orang lain tu suka orang lain. And it never goes like a cycle, that's why it's more to food web than life cycle or what else. Tapi, what I love the most about the reality is 'cause at last we'll end up just like a story, happily married. Cheesy, huh?

Last but not least, I hope that I won't be uncertain this whole holiday. I have things to do at least. That's good enough. Tengok la semalam, boleh pulak ikutkan je my little sister yang tiba-tiba beria suruh dengar lagu entah apa. And I was just, ha, bak la earphone tu. Layankan je la. Why? Sebab amatlah jarang nak tengok my sister buat baik macam tu. Selalunya we will finish our time quarreling, or paling tak pun buat hal masing-masing. Yeap, kadang-kadang rasa awkward gak jadi anak sulung and tinggal dua beradik macam tu (my abang dekat uni). Apa-apa pun, family will need each other, right?

Enough said. Bye guys. 

Distraction!

In people's mind set, the word 'distraction' is something that they look the negative way. But not me. I think it is great (tak la great mana pun) because you can distract yourselves from the thing that is hurt to recall. ...and not running from facing the reality as people always thought. In my case, it not hurt to recall, instead it's nice. But, remembering that it is far, that's hurt. Feels like a hand squeezing hard my heart.

So, enough telling that, what I do to distract myself? I read. Yeah, alang-alang dah cuti sekolah (not literally cuti lagi pun), nak buat apa dengan koleksi novel bertimbun tu, kan? Actually, ada tiga je pun yang belum baca. Setakat ni tak la sampai tahap desperate lagi sampai nak ulang baca yang lama. So, among that three, I grabbed one which has three ceritera in it, and I finished read one yesterday (start baca pun malam semalam gak).

The thing is I have to finish that first ceritera tu malam tu jugak sebab it was a thriller story. I can sleep peacefully without knowing who's the killer bla bla bla. And it's not because of curiosity, it's because I'm scared. See, that explained well why I can't get along well with thriller. Thank god it was a short ceritera. Honestly, I get chickened out watching a movie of there's a murder bla bla bla, and at the end, the killer is still out there, escape, and I don't know who. But the ceritera was very interesting. I'll think again to buy the previous story of the ceritera 'cause it is thicker and I've to finish it in a day.

Bila fikir balik, kata nak cari distraction, kan? Bukan ke lebih baik kalau pergi mengaji ke apa, kan? Ni last mengaji pun Ramadan hari tu, khatam sekali. Takpe la, cuti ni, I'll start again. So, pertambahan aktiviti selain baca novel la, kan? Kalau nak hati tu tenang, dekatkan la diri dengan Dia. Dia yang jadikan kita, hati kita pun dia yang pegang, so what makes you think that He can't give peace towards you? Kita boleh doa, kan? Lagipun sekarang ni musim hujan. Doa sangat-sangat la mujarab time-time macam ni. Insya-Allah. :)

p/s: Rumah besar perabot jati;

             Rumah milik Pak Cik Yahya;

        Tenanglah duhai hati;

             Yakinlah kau ada Dia.

Can't help but to smile

Things turn up better when we don't expect for it

So, this is the first day if the three-days-extent. Kinda awkward to have nothing to do. At first, me and my buds were just chit-chatting-around-talking-about-I-don't-know-what. Until the topics get so random and bored, we stopped and play UNO cards (which we borrowed from our classmate). The game get so long, and everybody seems not to give up until Nik have already lose but refuse to accept the fate and continue playing like crazy until our stomach were grumbling so hard.

At that time, Dil and Wanie have already won and left me and Nik to finish up the game. Nearly half an hour, the game ended, and guess who won? Me, of course. At that time I was laughing thinking that perhaps Nik were meant to lose since the game has started *hands up*

And so, we went out of school (yeap, a crime) to buy nasi lemak and eat in the classroom (crime number two). Tell you what, the nasi lemak was so pedas tahap giga and I was like "Hus... hahh... hus... hahh..." and so did Wanie. We drank almost half the bottle. But when I turned my head towards Nik, "Whoa, red-face, watery eyes but don't even touch her bottle." I just let her to do what makes her feel better. All is well, okiedokie?

After that, we played Donkey, Stick, UNO, and UNO Snap. After bored waiting for Dil and Nik finish playing UNO Snap, I joined Wanie and others snapping pictures with Ain's anroid. The thing is, one of the pictures we snapped, there's a mysterious photo which there's a white-tall-blur image behind us. Tell you what, we felt creepy but we laugh so hard (I don't have any explanation for that). At last, the photo become a big issue (just in our class la). Still, until now there's no explanation for that. We just assume that perhaps it was 'it' as in creepy 'it'.

The last part, oh, I love the last part! We were running in the rain after the school session ended. It was a heavy downpour. Then, we snapped pictures in the rain, wishing luck for '95 batch for their SPM as we aren't gonna meet them before their exam. Our second day will be on their second day of SPM.

p/s: The unexpected part is that I saw dia when I don't even expect for it. It was in between para 1, para 3, and last para. Glad. :) Yeah, can't help but to smile.

Not as I thought it would be

After a while busy with my final exam, finally I'm free! Totally out of it. Just now was the last paper I took, which is Sejarah Kertas 3. Three hours paper! ...and open book test. Yeap, new format. :) I think that Sejarah Kertas 3 is specially designed to make students' hand dangling of tired writing non-stop for three hours. Phiuhh~ *hand cramp*

Anyway, it over though. I should be happy since 25 buah buku teks pun dah hantar. But, I just don't know why, I'm not happy as I thought I would be. Perhaps today is the last day for the majority of us in the school and I'm not? That's not really it. I like to go to school, and not study of course (hahaha). Actually, today suppose to be the last day of school but my class has been extended for three more days.

Oh, enough for that. Now I wanna ask, have you guys ever seen a shooting star? Me neither. I just wanna say out my opinion of what I understand about it. To me, when we look up in the sky at night, especially when it is a starless night sky, and suddenly there's a shooting star passes by, it is kinda give a happy feeling in our heart, but sadly, in the blink on an eye, it just disappear from our sight. The conclusion is, it is a temporary happiness.

That's all for this entry. Merepek all along from starting until this last full stop.